Personal Blog

It all started with the Hungarian community portal IWIW sending me some notes about mails I got there. They were just stupid chain mails, but since I had some time, I went to delete them. Then it occured to me to have a look at my old high school classmates, who I have in a group there. This year is the 10th anniversary of my graduation from there, so soon enough someone should start organising a get-together. If no one steps up until April, I'll start sending mails myself. So as I was looking at them, I noticed that quite a few names changed. We were an almost all girls class, so their names changed, because they got married. About 5 from the ones who I had there and were visibly married. Since there were only 14 in my class, that is quite a high number. And here I am, not even hoping to ever get married, or even be in a relationship. Coincidentally, two girls here started to talk about marriage and kids, I just had to join them. Then this guy brings in his two kids...

I guess I'm just in one of my moods. Sometimes it happens. Usually around the time when my body becomes fertile, so I'm blaming the hormones. Most women take pills to control their cycles, but I don't, so now I can just feel my body calling out to someone. It does feel strange, this longing. Especially to someone like me, who strives to be in control of her body all the time. I wasn't always like this. Now I feel emotionally shut off from the world most of the time, relying on my mind. I do remember times when I was a much warmer person. I used to have friends back then. I used to want to have friends. I sometimes ask myself, why I changed. When did I break? About 4 years ago I fell in love. I confessed to him and he said the usual, my feelings were unreturned. I felt embarassed. I cried a lot. Maybe I broke then. My heart did feel like breaking at the time, but I just can't be sure. Ever since then love has not touched my heart. I keep wondering if t...

I read my last post. I can't believe that it's been over a month since I last wrote here. I love reading what I write, because it's interesting to see what happened. So on that, I did manage to cut back on the heating and use of gas. Though at the end of the month it still did cost an arm and a leg. I still had some stuff to get for the apartment. One thing that I did is to make a wall of love according to Feng Shui. My mom checked and located my center of love and relationship in the room. So I put up 3 pictures of my favourite couples in movies / series. Legend of the Seeker, Gone With The Wind and Hana Yori Dango. All screen captures. The last one was from the wedding scene and I think it's great. I'm going to hang a huge picture with a stylized "Love" on it, but I can't find my nails. I did get a TV and it's great! I'm in love. Talking about love. I gave my colleague a chance and it didn't turn out good. We gave it a shot, ...

Originally on DeviantArt: I've uploaded the first batch of pics that I did at the event. I did over 700 pictures. After deleting the back pics and the blurs, I'm left with less than 200. I would either need belly dancers who would pose or dance slower, or a better camera. So even the ones that are less blurry, have parts that are slightly blurred. Oh well, I just have to make do with what I have. Overall, there are a few good ones that I'm uploading here. I do have to edit them slightly. Especially because the lighter kept changing the light on me. Tribal Belly Dancer by ~ ZeldaOfArel on deviant ART

Originally on DeviantArt: Tomorrow I'm going to a belly dancing event and plan on taking lots of pictures. The only problem is that I forgot the connecting cable to the computer at my mom's, so I won't be able to upload anything until I get it.  However, I als have a DVD with my old pictures. I'll go through them to see if I have anything. Today the weather here is really bad. We have some snow, but it's the small ice-like kind and that is not as nice as the fluffy flakes. So when I was going to work, I knew I had to brighten myself up with something. The best solution for that is to listen to some ARASHI. That's a Japanese boy band. So they have this song called "LIFE". Whenever I listen to it, I can see the sun shining through my mental eyes. Maybe I'll make sort of a nature video with lots of sunshine some day for it.

Originally on DeviantArt: At work we have less to do now, so I gathered from my home computer what I wanted to upload, and uploaded them here, at work. I'm very happy that I finally put up everything I wanted from my Munich pictures, though I'm still thinking about a few more of them. I still have some pictures at my mom's that I want to look through and I'll do that when I visit her. I may just write down everything on a DVD and sort through them at home. I'm going to a belly dancing event in February. I don't have the ticket yet and I haven't asked my teacher, who also performs, if I'm permitted to take pictures during it, so I'll have to see about that. I do love tekaing pictures of dancers, though it's not like doing it in a studio. You don't have control over the environment, nor the dancer. I often wish that I could do their make-up. And sometimes they just move too darn fast.

I had a really relaxing weekend. I worked hard this week, doing overtime a lot. I usually didn't get to relax until 8pm. So this weekend I practically spent in bed. It was nice, because I didn't have to heat up the flat too much. Gas prices have gone up again and I need to cut back on my heating as I use gas for it. So I wear a lot of clothes and sleep under two blankets. Have to save up for my trip to Scotland in July. I also need to buy a TV. So yeah, I have a lot of expenses to cover. I do have some savings, but I would like to keep it where it is now and not take out of it. My ex-flatmate sent me a mail on Tuesday about wanting to meet up. I haven't written back. I'm just not sure I want to see him again. I put up a good front until we were living together, but I don't want to anymore. He called me an alcoholic, a liar, a hypochondriac and some other stuff behind my back to my mom. Yeah, I managed not to punch him. So I don't know why he would want to ...